Look for the Unexpected
By Di Cullen (Part II of Nurturing My Growth post)
An unexpected bonus learning from my 90 day Growth Commitment to Courageously believe and embrace my powerfully intentional ability to manifest a thriving Whole You community in 2024 came from my focus on listening to my inner voice(s).
As I was listening for my "Who do you think you are...?" voice, I noticed another voice - or maybe the same voice saying something different. This one had a predictable energy, feeling and behavior associated with it. Hmmm...intriguing, right?
The energy was hyperactivity, the feeling was anxiety and the behavior was "driving to deliver at all costs". The voice was saying something like "You said you were going to officially launch The Whole You website by the end of June, 2024" with a demanding, worried and almost life-death tone.
It didn't take long for me to recognize this voice. In the past, it would help keep me living into all the promises I made. It motivated me to perform well in work, be a reliable parent and show up as a good friend. In summary, it helped me "be my word".
However, the downside of "being my word" through this demanding inner voice was often some kind of negative impact on me (or my partner). Often, my health would be impacted or I would forfeit my desires to do things... for things I "should" do.
About 20 years ago, I realized that we have the ability to renegotiate promises. I learned about the distinction between promises and expectations - both implicit and explicit. I practiced new skills to help renegotiate promises with others applying kindness, care and integrity. It took a number of years to integrate these into my life and it helped.
When I recognized this voice in my head, I looked around to see WHO I made this promise to and WHAT the negative impact would be to renegotiate. Turns out, the promise was only with me and the negative impact was zero!
Once I re-negotiated a new launch date with myself, I opened up more breathing room - energy, space and time - for creativity. I came up with a really great idea for the Trail Blazers community that I doubt would have emerged while I was so hyperactive and anxiously driven to launch the website.
I welcomed the unexpected discovery that I was not renegotiating my unrealistic promises with myself. I can now use my Whole You tools to further explore the anxiety that accompanies this inner voice to see what more I can learn.